G''d: "Hey, Noah! Go build an ark and get your family and all these animals into it because I'm gonna flood the earth to wipe up this mess you people have made of my creation."
[Editor's note: This "second chance" doesn't yet seemed to have worked out as well as anticipated by G''d.]
G''d: "Hey, Abraham! Pack up your stuff and take you and your family to a place I will show you."
G''d: "Hey, Abraham! Circumcise the foreskin of your penis as a sign of the covenant between us."
[Editor's note: needless to say, that hurt! And in the middle of his recovery, G''d sends these three angels to see Abraham...]
G''d: "Hey, Abraham! The sins of S'dom and Gomorrah are too great. I am going to destroy those two wicked cities and all the inhabitants."
Abraham: "Uh, hold on a second there, big guy. You gonna wipe out the innocent with the guilty?"
G''d: "Hmmmm. I hadn't thought about that. OK. You show me 50 good people there and I will spare the cities for their sake?"
Abraham: "What makes 50 so special? What about 45? 40? 30? 20? 10?
G''d: "Okay. Even for 10 good people I will spare the cities and their people."
[Editors note: G''d destroys S'dom and Gomorrah anyway. While the Torah intimates through its illustrations of the behavior of the people of S'dom, and Gomorrah to these two visiting angels the obviously high rate of depravity, we're never definitively shown there weren't 10 good people there.]
G''d: Hey, Abraham! Send Hagar and Ishmael away. Don't worry. I'll take care of them.
G''d: "Hey Abraham! Take your son, your beloved son, Isaac, and bring him to this mountain I'll show you and offer him up as a sacrifice to Me."
[Editor's note: Okay. So G''d provided a ram for the sacrifice in place of Isaac. Assuming that's what "takhat" really meant in that situation...]
G''d: "Hey Moses! Go tell Pharaoh to let My people go!"
Moses: "Who? Me?"
G''d: "Just do it, will ya?"
Moses: "Well, if you insist, But I'm not much of a talker. And Who, by the way, are You? They' re gonna ask me."
G''d: "OK, your brother can do the talking for you. And you can just call me Que sera, sera."
G''d: "Listen, Israel! I am giving you these commandments!"
Israel: "We will do and we will see (understand.)" [ Ed. note: in other words, "Okay."]
Moses: "Hey, G''d! The folks found this guy gathering wood on Shabbat? What's the penalty?"
G''d: "Take him outside the camp and stone him to death."
Moses (and the people:) "Okay."
Another lost opportunity?
©2006 by Adrian A. Durlester
Shelakh Lekha 5764-They
Might Really Be Giants
Shelakh-Lekha 5762-Minority Report
Shelakh-Lekha 5761-Cover Up?
Shelakh Lekha 5760 and 5765-Anamnesis
Shelakh-Lekha 5759-Do You Spy What I Spy?
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